It is January.
I ended my last blog with a question mark on what God would bring in December. Well, he definitely brought something. He brought an expected gift on the kitchen counter: a 30 day notice.
It was u n b e l i e v a b l e. I could not believe our landlord decided to place this notice on our laps right before christmas. Last December of 2014, my husband lost his job unexpectedly & this year, this month, we would be losing our home unexpectedly.
It happened so __ FAST. I was devasted. I was crushed, knowing this would be our 4th move before settling into a place we could call “home.” I DISLIKE moving & I use DISLIKE very strongly. I admit. It is hard for me to accept things I cannot control.
We are currently in the process of finding a new home. The online searching, the driving, the meetings, the fiancial decision talks, late night hoping, late night praying, late night doubting, late night cries, … continues daily until now.
… YET, God questions me. What is HOME? What clarifies home?
[google search] HOME: a place where one lives.
[soul search] HOME. It just struck me. God is defining home to me in ways that stretches me even further. But WHY me? Why not my neighbor who seems to have it ALTOGETHER? WHY me?
[scripture search] HOME. Philippians 3:20, “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ;…” My home is with God. He eagerly waits & lovingly mercifully reminds me of my home with Him. ‘Keep your wandering eyes on me, my child.’
Genesis 3:19, “By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are DUST, and to DUST you shall return.”
I am not to take granted the beauty of eternal gifts such as my citizenship in heaven. He gave it to me freely through the blood of His son Jesus Christ, on the cross: the place in which I should have been placed, yet God gave me favor & adopted me as His child so that I may be able to call Him my Father. I am unworthy; He IS worthy to be praised.
‘Stop worrying & start living’, says my soul. ‘God IS for you. You cannot fail, whereever you are placed here in this temporary place.’
Yet, I keep running away from God, my real home. I keep running towards what I see physically in front of me. PHYSICAL comfort. Why won’t my flesh get it? Why won’t my flesh allow my soul to rest in God’s comfort of peace, joy, & love? WHY?
— Lord, thank you for keeping me on my knees & finding a blessed assurance in you today.